Bikes, Buses and Subways
by Greendogg
Summary: Title says it all What starts out as a normal school fieldtrip leads one mishap after another.


**Note: Story is based on the Hey! Arnold episode "Buses, Bikes & Subways" For those that grew up watching Hey Arnold you've probably seen this episode, if not then I recommend watching The '90s are All That on Teen Nick(Check your listings) you can also find Hey Arnold episodes online. All characters and storyline are property of Warner Bros, DC Comics and Nickelodeon. Anyway, on with the story!**

It was a typical day in Dakota City, but for one group of young heroes it was anything but that. Virgil, Richie and the rest of their classmates were currently on the school bus. Aside from the sound of engine, various conversations could be heard on the bus.

"Oh brother, a fieldtrip to the chocolate factory and everyone's carrying on like they're going to Disneyland. What buffoons." said Artemis.

"Aren't you looking forward to the visit, Artemis?" Daisy asked.

"You kidding? I got tickets to the NBA playoffs tonight, the sooner we finish this little dorky escapade, the sooner I get there." Artemis replied, before flicking a rolled up piece of paper at Roy.

Roy turned around after the paper hit the back of his head.

"Cut it out, Artemis." He said.

"What?" Artemis replied, trying to sound innocent.

Just then, Lucas Car's voice rang out:

"Class, please… listening ears."

At that moment, everyone stopped talking.

"Thank you… Now, we're almost there, so first, a few rules…" Lucas was cut off.

"Rule one, go straight to the Yahoo! Hospitality room and eat chocolate num-nums till you puke!" Wally exclaimed.

At that moment, everyone on the bus began to cheer.

"Aw, stop cheering already, Wally's obnoxious enough, don't encourage him." said Artemis.

"Listen, Artemis; I've been dreaming about this fieldtrip since kindergarten and I'm planning on having the best day of my life. So stay out of my way, Madam Fortress Mommy." Wally replied.

"You stay out of _my_ way, Pink boy." Artemis continued.

She and Wally were visiting their friends in Dakota City earlier that week and wound up going on the fieldtrip. Roy, Wendy, Marvin and Dick had also tagged along.

As the bus turned down the road and entered the front gate, the students could be heard cheering: "Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!"

No sooner did the bus stop, everyone got off.

"Class, before we begin enjoying the exhibits, remember, we'll all meet up outside the hospitality room at… ok, we'll meet up later." said Lucas, it didn't take him long to notice the rest of the class had gone ahead of him.

After he left, a figure climbed out from under the bus.

Cameron, (Icicle Jr.) grinned as he looked around.

"This is gonna be great." He said to himself.

_Meanwhile…_

The students seemed to be enjoying themselves, taking the different sites and exploring the factory.

Marvin removed the baseball cap he was wearing and held it out long enough to get a few chocolate num-nums as they came off the conveyer belt.

Although everyone was having a good time, Artemis was rather bored; she looked at her classmates and yawned.

Meanwhile, Wally had made his way to the hospitality room. He smiled from ear to ear, as he looked at the different varieties of chocolate on the shelves.

Virgil and Richie were walking along one of the upper levels and heard someone coming up behind them.

"Oh yeah… this'll be a scream." said Cameron.

"What's Cameron doing here? He's not in our class." Richie asked.

"He's not even in our grade." Virgil pointed out.

Just then, Cameron looked up and started backing away.

"Uh, Cameron, where are you going?" Virgil asked.

"You're not gonna do anything crazy, now are you?" Richie asked.

Before Cameron could say anything, he slipped and fell.

Next thing Virgil and Richie heard was a loud: 'splash'.

"And over here, behind me is the huge vat where they…" Lucas was cut off.

Daisy gasped at what she saw.

"Mr. Carr, there's somebody swimming in the chocolate!" she exclaimed.

"Daisy, what a truly vivid imagination you have. We all know there's no way anyone could…" Lucas stopped short and screamed when he saw Cameron.

_A few minutes later…_

"Cameron, let me start by saying that I am not at all happy about this. You snuck out to come on this trip without anyone's permission; now what do you have to say for yourself?" Lucas asked as Cameron wiped the chocolate off his clothes.

Cameron shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sorry?" he said nervously.

"I think it's time to take you back to the school, better round up the class and get them on the bus." Lucas concluded.

Artemis overheard the conversation and grinned.

"You mean, the field trip's over?" she asked.

"Oh,I'm afraid so, Artemis." Lucas replied.

"Yes! NBA playoffs, here I come." She said to herself.

Wally was unaware of what was going on, at the moment he was up to waist in chocolate. Laughing as he stuffed a handful of dark chocolate covered almonds into his mouth.

"Way to go, Cameron, thanks a lot." said Shenice as she got on the bus.

Artemis looked around for a moment after sitting down in the back seat.

"Where's Wally? He better not make me late." She said as she got up and went to look for him.

"All right, is everyone on board?" Lucas asked.

"I'll just do a quick head count."

"Two, four, six…" he counted.

"Mm, this chocolate's pretty good when it's warm." said Cameron who had scraped some off his sleeve.

"Cameron, please… plea… now just take it easy." Mr. Carr, told him.

"Now where was I? oh, yes. Ten, twelve." He continued, counting the students.

"Hey Stupid, wake up, it's time to roll." said Artemis as she entered the hospitality room.

"I said, move it, Big boy! Move!" she yelled as she grabbed Wally and ran.

"Oh, ow! Ow!" he shouted as Artemis dragged him.

"And thirty… well, I think that's everybody." Lucas concluded.

"Ow! Quit pulling my arm." said Wally.

"The bus is leaving, you Dumb oaf." Artemis explained.

She looked out a nearby window and her jaw dropped.

"No!" she yelled and ran outside.

"Wait! Come back! Come back!" she shouted as she ran down the road.

"We're all alone, we'll starve to death!" said Wally who came up to Artemis.

"Get real, Porky. You just ate half your weight in chocolate." She said to him.

"Besides, I'm sure they've already noticed we're gone and they're turning around, right now." Artemis concluded.

_Meanwhile on the bus…_

"95 bottles of beer on the wall, 95 bottles of beer…" the class sang.

_Back at the chocolate factory…_

"Or, maybe not. Ok, let's go back inside and call our parents." Artemis sighed.

Just then, the gate slammed.

"Hey, no!" Wally shouted.

"Hey wait!" Artemis yelled.

The two of them continued to shout as they stood at the front gate. One by one, the lights in the factory went out.

"Help! Wait! Help!" Artemis shouted.

"Help!" Wally exclaimed, he then pressed himself against the bars of the gate and cried.

Artemis looked away and smiled when she spotted a phone across the road.

She poked Wally with the tip of her nikes.

"So, how much money you got?"

Wally then held up fifty cents.

"Enough for one call each." Artemis sighed.

"Hello? Mom, it's me Artemis. I'm stuck at the chocolate factory with a moron. The school bus left us here and we don't have any way to get back. Oh, please pick up!"

"Ohh," she groaned, her call went straight to the answering machine.

Now it was Wally's turn.

He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello? Mom, it's me Wally."

"I never heard of you, don't call me again!" Captain Boomerang yelled.

"Dialed the wrong number." said Wally.

"Just brilliant. You don't even know your own phone number." Artemis groaned.

"Where you going?" Wally asked.

"To Dakota City, even if I have to walk there." Artemis explained.

"Hey, wait up, Artemis! Don't leave me here, please!" Wally called and went to catch up with her.

After walking for a while they reached what looked like a train station.

"Hey, look, the subway, we're saved!" Wally said triumphantly.

"Yeah, great idea, genius; only one little problem, it costs money to take the subway and we don't have any." Artemis pointed out.

"Then we'll just jump the gate, no one ever gets caught. Come' on!" Wally replied as he tried to hop the gate but only got halfway through.

"Hey you two kids!" a security guard shouted.

"Aah!" Wally and Artemis screamed.

She quickly pushed him and hopped over the gate.

"Come back here!" the guard shouted.

At that moment, Artemis and Wally took off running and managed to get on the subway before it pulled off.

Looking out the window, they could see the guard on the platform, shaking his fist.

"Oh, phew! That was close. Ohh, I think I'm gonna be sick." said Wally.

"No one ever gets caught," Artemis mocked.

"Ok, now what?" she asked herself.

She looked at a map on the wall that had a list of the subway route and stations.

"I guess we get off at Lexington." She concluded and pointed to the D station.

"No, no, we get off at Lincoln; I took this train with my Dad once." Wally explained as he pointed to the C station.

"To where? The idiots' convention?" Artemis asked.

"Now I know what I'm talking about, Artemis. Trust me." Wally replied.

"Fine, but you better be right, carrot top." She said, poking him.

At that moment, Wally retched.

"Ew," said Artemis, glancing down at the puddle of partly digested chocolate on the floor.

_1 hour later…_

"Now what?" Artemis asked as they got off the subway.

"I don't know, it kinda looks different than I remembered." Wally admitted as he scratched his head.

Artemis gritted her teeth.

"You don't have any idea where we are? Do you? Do you?" she asked holding Wally by his shirt.

She let him go after a moment and started walking up a nearby staircase.

"Artemis? Comeback!" he shouted and went after her.

The sun had started to set and soon it would be getting dark.

Sometime later, they stopped at a clearing.

There was a sign that said, _McCormick Circus_, music could also be heard as well as conversations and laughter from one of the tents.

"Hey look!" said Wally as he pointed at a bike parked near the Lion cage.

Artemis grabbed him before he could do anything else.

"One: I'm not gonna ride that clown bike. Two: It doesn't belong to us." She said.

"Aw, come 'on no one's gonna notice, you want to get back to Dakota City, don't you?" Wally answered.

_Moments later…._

"Aw, why do I have to sit in back?" Wally asked.

"Just shut up and peddle, we've got miles to go and I'm doing all the work." Artemis replied.

"Madam Fortress Mommy," Wally muttered.

As the got further away from the circus, neither one of them was aware they were being watched. Two clowns and a man on stilts came after them.

"Hey, bicycle thief!"

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Come back!" they yelled.

"Get the car." said one of the clowns.

_Meanwhile on the school bus…_

"41 bottles of beer on the wall, 41 bottles of beer…" the class sang.

"What's wrong? Why'd you stop singing?" Richie asked.

"I don't know, I just got this strange feeling like something's missing." Virgil replied.

While Virgil and Richie talked, Wally and Artemis were almost out of the woods… or so it seemed.

"Look! The city, we're almost there!" he said happily.

Sure enough not too far away was Downtown Dakota City.

"Yeah, almost there. Try five miles, Bonehead. Well, at least we got wheels." Artemis replied, reading the sign in front of them.

"Told you taking this bike was a good idea, guess I'm not so dumb after all, huh?" Wally continued.

Just then, they heard a car horn and saw some headlights.

"Hey! Come back here, you rotten kids!" a clown shouted.

Wally and Artemis screamed and before they could go any further, the clown car stopped.

Nine clowns, a man on stilts, a female acrobat and an animal trainer with a Siberian tiger got out of the car; along with a tall muscular man who looked to be about 6'12. Just as they started to surround Artemis and Wally, the two of them started peddling.

They could hear the circus group yelling and chasing after them. Both Wally and Artemis were too busy looking back and didn't notice the creek until it was too late.

The clowns and other performers continued to yell and shake their fists when they caught up with Artemis and Wally, only to see them fall into the creek, creating a loud splash.

_30 minutes later…_

"They got to be around here somewhere." Said the tall man as he and one of the clowns and the tiger searched the nearby swamp.

"When I get my hands on them, I'm gonna pop the redhead while the blond watches." The clown told him.

The tall man chuckled.

"I would like to see that," he replied.

Once they were gone, Wally and Artemis came up.

"That's the last time I borrow some clown's bike." said Wally as he tossed the reed he had been using to breathe.

"Perfect, I'm being stalked by a mob of angry circus freaks; I'm waist-deep in freezing cold water, next to a big fat loser. And there's a really annoying light shining in my face." Artemis replied.

"Hey, what is that light?" she wondered.

"Come' on," she grabbed Wally and the two of them cautiously approached the spot where the light was coming from.

It didn't take long for Wally to recognize the man sitting in the boat.

"Look! It's Clark Kent's pal, Bibbo!"

"Hey, Mister, wake up." said Artemis.

Bibbo snorted as he woke up.

"What? Who goes there?" he sputtered.

"Can you give us a ride into town?" Artemis asked.

"There's some crazy midget clowns that want to kill us!" Wally exclaimed.

"Midget clowns, eh? Huh…" said Bibbo.

_Meanwhile…_

"17 bottles of beer on the wall, 17 bottles of beer… take one down, pass it around…" Richie and his classmates sang.

Virgil glanced at the backseat where Daisy was sitting.

"Hey, Daisy, where's Artemis?" he asked.

"Gosh, I don't know, I assumed she was sitting up front." Daisy replied.

"Uh-oh," said Virgil.

A moment later, Mr. Carr shouted out loud:

"We've what? Oh my word!"

By now it was night and the school bus was approaching Dakota City.

_Back in the swamp…_

"What a nightmare, at least it's almost over." Artemis sighed.

"See? I told you everything would work out." said Wally.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked, spotting a cork on the floor of the boat.

"Whoa, hey! Don't be pullin' that!" Bibbo warned.

Next thing they knew, the boat began to take on water, the trio yelled in fear as it capsized.

"Help! Help me, I can't swim!" Wally shouted.

"Neither can I, best wishes to ye." Bibbo called out as he floated away on a life ring.

"Artemis, help me!" Wally continued.

"Quit choking me and grab on to this," she said pulling Wally up and grabbing a hold of a small log.

She coughed as they paddled, "Geez," Artemis muttered.

_Meanwhile at the Yahoo! chocolate factory…_

"What is it guys? You see anything?" Virgil asked.

Dick and Ace (Bat hound) looked around the front gate for a moment and found a candy wrapper on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah. It's Wally's chocolate, probably an hour ago, maybe an hour and fifteen." said Dick.

"Oh dear, I'm afraid they're long gone. I better go straight to Wally's and Artemis' parents and tell them they're miss…" Lucas stopped short when he felt Ace brushing up against him.

"Stop sniffing me," he said, pushing the German shepherd off.

Sometime later, Artemis and Wally were out of the water. The swamp drained out to the harbor and the two managed to get to shore.

"We're alive! Oh-ho, you saved my life, I think I love you!" said Wally as he hugged Artemis.

"Wally, get away from me, you big whale." Artemis growled as she elbowed him, knocking her teammate off to the side.

"Huh?" he sputtered.

"Everything that happened today was your fault, you can't do anything right." said Artemis, as she removed a piece of seaweed from her hair and wrung out her ponytail.

"Take the bus for example. Why do you think we missed it, Wally? Oh, let's see, hmm... maybe was it because you were too busy eating twice your body weight in chocolate num-nums?"

"Or how about this one? 'Let's take the subway; I think it goes to Lincoln.' Oh, wait, no it doesn't it, goes straight to the ends of the earth. Population: Psychotic, second rate, midget clowns!"

"'I know, let's steal their bike, they won't mind'. Now you think that would be enough to fill any moron's day. But you're not just any moron are you, Wally? You're the king, your day's just getting started. So, because of your curiosity about the amazing world around us, you pulled the plug out of the bottom of our getaway boat!" said Artemis.

She sighed and sat down on the sand.

"You idiot." She growled.

Wally looked at her, feeling pretty bad.

"So, is that what you really think of me, Artemis? You think I'm an idiot and I can't do anything right?" he asked.

"Yes, Wally, that's what I really think." She confessed.

Wally couldn't look at her anymore; he glanced down a puddle and froze when he saw a familiar reflection in the water. Looking up he saw some small apartment buildings not too far away.

"Hey, I think I know where we are." He said.

"Yeah, we're up the creek without a paddle." Artemis told him.

"Really Artemis; I-I know where we are!"

"Let's go, come' on, come' on." Wally insisted he grabbed hold of Artemis' hand and ran up some nearby stairs.

"Ow! Let go of me, you big oaf!" she yelled.

"This is it, this is it, come' on!" said Wally as he led Artemis into the side entrance of a building.

"Stop it, stop pulling me and tell me where you're taking me right now!" Artemis said to him.

Wally didn't say anything as he opened the door.

"The NBA playoffs!" he said.

Artemis gasped.

"The playoffs? But, how?" she asked.

"One of my cousins is a security guard, he lets me in all the time." Wally answered.

"Hey look, front row seats!"

Wally couldn't help but snicker at the look on Artemis' face.

_Meanwhile…_

Lucas rang the doorbell and waited.

"Can I help you?" Paula asked as she answered the door.

"Uh, Mrs. Crock, I'm afraid I have some very serious news, your daughter, Artemis…" before Lucas could finish the phone rang.

"Could you just excuse me, just a sec?" She said, going over to the phone and picking it up. Lucas raised an eyebrow, who would be calling at this time of the night?

"Hello? Oh, hi Artemis. NBA playoffs with Wally? 'Kay, have fun, bye-bye."

After hanging up, she glanced at Lucas whose eyes widened.

"Now, what was that you were saying?"

At that moment, Lucas groaned and passed out, obviously in shock.

_Back in Dakota City…_

Artemis hung up the pay phone and looked at Wally.

"Um, Wally; I just want to say, I'm sorry." She told him.

"Aw, that's ok." said Wally.

He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small gold package.

"Chocolate num-num?" he asked, holding it out to Artemis.

She smiled and accepted the offer.

The two of them turned their attention toward the basketball court. The teams playing were the Los Angeles Lakers and the Metropolis Sharks.

The crowd cheered as the game started.

What had started out as a day full mishaps turned into a fun filled evening….

Th-th-that's all folks!

Just some notes characters featured in this story and other things: The story was based on an episode of the series, _Hey! Arnold_. The episode _Buses, Bikes and Subways_ is one of my favorites. Virgil, Shenice, Daisy and Richie are from the series, _Static Shock_. Captain Boomerang was one of the villains who appeared in _Justice League Unlimited. _Bibbo was one of the supporting characters in _Superman: The Animated Series_. Ace the Bat-Hound is Batman/Bruce Wayne's pet German shepherd and was in the animated series, _Krypto the Superdog _. Yahoo! Chocolate and Chocolate num-nums are a product from the show Hey! Arnold.

Anyway, due to other projects in the works, I probably won't post new stories or updates for a while.

So, Ciao for now!

Reviews are appreciated.


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